Crash

I was driving back from Albany yesterday when I noticed the car in front of me was weaving around a little. I backed off, because although it was about 4pm on a Sunday, you never know what people do with their "lazy Sunday" afternoons (drink beers and watch TV).

I was on my way to Kroger, so I got off of 50 and onto the ramp for 33. As I was going around the overpass, I saw the car in front of me creep off to the right. Its tire hit the gravel patch where 32 and the exit from Richland avenue come and connect with 33, and evidently the driver jerked the wheel to the left to get back on the road, but oversteered. The car shot off to the left, and the driver jerked the wheel back to the right, but again, oversteered and the car did a psuedo-U turn in the middle of the highway and rocketed across the 32/Richland on ramp and slammed into the guard rail. I saw the driver's body get thrown forward into the windshield, looking just like a crash test dummy.

I slammed on my breaks, pulled up behind the totalled car, grabbed my cell phone and sprinted over to the drivers side window, which was shattered. I was half expecting her to be dead, unconscious or seriously wounded ... she obviously wasn't wearing her seatbelt and she had to have hit the guardrail at close to 55 mph.

The lady behind the wheel was holding a lit cigarette, dialing her cell phone. She was shaking uncontrollably and I asked her if she was ok. She said "yes", and I asked her if she was calling 911. She said she was calling someone, and I asked her again if it was 911 and she said "yes". I asked her if she wanted me to stick around until the ambulance got there, and she shook her head and very vehemently said "NO, I'm FINE" several times. I asked her 3 times if she was sure she didn't want me to hang around for a few minutes until someone got there, but she seemed to get angrier each time I asked, so I just said, "OK, I'm glad you seem to be OK", and walked back to my car.

Every ounce of me was wanting to stay there and make sure she got help, but several more people were pulling up in front of her to make sure she was alive, and she was turning them all away. She got out of her car, sat on the guardrail, and continued to smoke her cigarette.

I sat there for a few minutes until I heard an siren in the distance, and then I continued on with my afternoon, but not without a big reality check.

When I'm the only person in the car, I'm not the greatest driver. If I have a passenger, I'm a lot more cautious ... but for some reason I take stupid risks when I'm the only one in the car (ex: driving with my knees, talking on the cell phone, playing with the radio dials, not wearing a seatbelt, sometimes all at the same time ... ). Seeing this woman hit the front of her car like she did was terrifying. I didn't know what to expect when I ran up there ... I thought for sure she would be dead.

I made a Lenten covenant with God that I'm not willing to talk about, and it hasn't been going well ... but for some reason this weekend was a turning point. The combination of playing some challenging songs at church, having the first big disagreement with my boyfriend, talking to my sweet, wonderful Grandma on the phone for the first time about how her life is different now without Grandpa, and seeing this woman crash her car have inexplicably strengthened my resolution. I'm glad.

I'm at a strange point in my life right now. I don't know how to explain it.