No more dead cats!

I'm done with dead cats! This winter quarter is DONE and I believe that my lowest grade is going to be a C (in the dead cat class). I'm really happy. I was just hoping to pass my classes, let alone get a B average. Now I'm all cleared for student teaching and will meet with my cooperating teacher at Athens Middle School sometime during spring break to talk about what we are going to do this quarter. I'm .... terrified? Me being in charge of 100+ 14 year old kids every day? God give me strength.

My life is kind of up in the air right now, and it's really hard for me to deal with. I know the Lord has great plans for me and all, but I can't see them and it freaks me out. This isn't anything new. I knew I had to go to college, but I didn't know where. I knew it had to be in Ohio and I knew I wanted to go in for Music Education. My major changed, but I set my heart on OU and in the 5 years I've been here I've never regretted coming to Athens.

Thinking about leaving Athens freaks me out. I get teary-eyed just thinking about not eating at the Village Bakery or Casa Nueva again, or shopping at the Farmacy and going to the Athens dog park. I will miss Athens' "remoteness" and the plethera of state parks around here. I will miss running my dog through campus on summer mornings when all the students are gone, watching him take off after squirrels. I will miss things, places, and events that I can't find anywhere else ... and mostly people. I will miss all the familiar faces I see at Kroger. I'll miss people from church. I'll miss people from the dog park. I'll miss the atmosphere of this town that you most certainly can't find anywhere else.

God will put me where He wants me. I know that much, and if I'm lucky, I'll stay in Athens. But it's hard for me to feel good about leaving a place that has been my first real home. My devoted boyfriend is in Cincinnati for the long term, my family is in the Northwestern part of the state, and my life is in Athens. Anywhere I go I'm going to be away from people I love, and they are all equally important to me.

I still have 3 months until my lease runs out. I don't know why I'm freaking about this right now, but student teaching is the only thing standing between me and graduation. I think I'm realizing that the time for decisions is near, and I am dreading it. I should be looking forward to the plans that God has for me, but I'm not. I have a feeling it will involve leaving Athens, and I don't know if I'll ever be ready to face that.