I hate dogs

I hate them. Truly. I'm being serious this time and I'm definitely not joking around.

Well, maybe a little bit.

But I definitely wasn't enjoying myself at 4am this morning when 5 deer decided to bed down 2 yards away from my bedroom window.

I'll run down the list of dogs I am currently living with right now:
Riley (50 pounds)
Copper (55 pounds)
Rocky (85 pounds) - a big dumb beautiful golden retriever with a barking problem
Codie (30 pounds) - a wheaton terrier with more internal energy than a nuclear plant

So what is that ... 220 pounds of dog that suddenly rocketed onto my bed this morning? I was sound asleep when suddenly I was jarred awake by Rocky using my stomach as a launchpad for his frantic efforts to claw through my window. My bed sits right under the window in front of which the deer chose to groom themselves, so for the dogs, it was a great opportunity to try out their morning voices. And let me tell you .... they would make a beautiful doggie choir.

The deer just turned their graceful heads and stared at the window, which I'm sure looked ridiculous to anyone standing outside. 4 frantic howling dog heads, bobbing up and down, slobber spattering on the window, with human legs in the background flailing helplessly as a college girl is being trampled to death.

So after the deer took their sweet time leaving my front yard, it took the dogs forever to calm down. They were whining, running back and forth from the front door to my window ... so I just fed them all. At 4 in the morning. I figured food would get their mind off the deer, and I was right. I was finally able to go back to bed around 5, but I've got big raking claw marks on my stomach and arms. It sucked.

And that is why I hate dogs.

The end.